Category Archives for Miscellaneous

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

?You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. ‘Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years were rrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.? ~ Bill Hicks

You know I?ve done my fair share of drugs in the past.

No needles, FUCK THAT.

But a fair share nonetheless.

I want to tell you about the first time I tried mushrooms and what I experienced. (WARNING: If you?re on drugs right now, DO NOT READ THIS as it may fuck up your high lol).

So let?s continue on shall we?

Date: New Year?s Eve 2009 I believe lol.

Place: My friend?s (we?ll just use Bob?s house to keep him anonymous).

I wanted to do just about anything to escape the fact that I?d just had a big breakup AND the fact that the person I was with was attending a New Years party with someone and I wasn?t.

Well at least not a person that I was gonna be kissing (or more) later on.

Now twas New Year?s Eve so naturally?

I wanted to party like I?ve never partied before and forget about ?feelings? and such.

Weed and alcohol WAS NOT gonna cut it.

So my buddy got some shrooms and my roommate (we?ll call him Marley, he he he Bob & Marley) my buddy Bob and this other dude that looked like Jesus Christ (I shitteth thee notteth) all ate some shrooms.

I ate about a gram I think it was.

Boy?I didn?t know what I was in for.

“Dear God…this parachute is a knapsack!”

It started off fucking awesome. Uncle Phil here was tripping? BALLS.

If you?ve never done shrooms before let me tell you this:

YOU WILL SEE SHIT THAT IS NOT REALLY HAPPENING.

Example:

I was absolutely enthralled by this thing called a television.

Also, I remember the song ?No Quarter? being played in the background (that was real), the Tool rendition (which fucking rocks BTW).

AND I remember seeing a Pink Floyd CD sitting on a lil’ table next to me.

This is how crazy this shit skewed my grasp on reality.

Somehow I combined all three of these things and I saw an infomercial on TV where someone was selling me a Pink Floyd CD series where they were playing Zepellin songs.

I was like ?But this ain?t a Floyd song?? and was confused as fuck.

We?ll fast forward to a little later, I?m getting into a little bit of paranoid mode (in other words, the ?I?m tripping so hard it?s becoming scary” mode).

I go to my friend (we?ll call her Janet) who tries to bring me down.

She brings an hour glass, turns it over and then someone starts drumming on the coffee table while I sit on the sofa.

To me this was totally amaze-balls and ol? Uncle Phil here starts feeling great again?

And then it happened.

The Jesus guy started it

So the Jesus Christ guy is apparently trippin? balls too (no surprise), except he had the novel idea of digging through the trash.

Well, this numb nuts came across a bottle and cut his hand.

So here?s what trippin? balls Phil sees:

A dude that looks like Jesus Christ with a cut hand (the palm of it BTW).

So of course I?m thinking of some crazy Stigmata creepy shit.

And then…that?s when the walls started melting.

Everyone turned into a demon, better yet a person with demonic eyes and they were all ?out to get me? in some way.

Scary as fuck holmes.

Coming Down

I don?t know how long this went on, but thank goodness for my friend Janet who gave me milk (I guess that?s supposed to help?it kinda did) and calmed me down.

Well, my buddy Bob?s wife (we?ll call her LaFawnduh bahaha) took me to the room and helped me calm down more and helped me wash my face.

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened - Lawfawnduh

And here?s where it got worse.

I get kicked out of the party

I was so grateful that LaFawnduh was helping me.

She had an aura (not kidding) around her like a fucking angel.

And?I tried to kiss her in my drugged up stupor.

She was very nice about it because she knew I was tripping? nuts, but my buddy Bob found out and we basically got kicked out (My buddy Marley and I that is, he was NOT pleased to be kicked out).

So?

While I think that drugs have brought us some good things (music and other talents wise)…

They have also made people do some really stupid shit that they wouldn?t normally do. 

TL/DR Version:

8 years ago I did shrooms for the first time after a bad breakup, had a bad trip, calmed down but tried to kiss my buddy?s wife in my drugged up stupor and got kicked out of a New Year?s Eve party.

Oy?

Moral of the story

I?m not gonna sit here and tell you not to do drugs.

You?re probably gonna do them anyways and me telling you not to ain?t gonna do dick.

So here?s my advice on this:

Don?t do anything with needles. You can get a life-long virus or something worse from a bad needle or leave track marks that will fuck up your chance of getting a job.

If you?re gonna do anything in excess, just do pot.

It?s the lesser of the evils.

And…

When experimenting with drugs that make you hallucinate?

Be in a good state of mind, don?t be going through crazy shit like I was?you may unleash some demons that you don’t wanna meet.

Also, make sure that you?re with friends that will take care of you if you have a bad trip. Nothing worse than someone trying to fuck up your high or worse?

Trying to fuck with you while you?re high. Those are not good friends, or even friends at all really.

Well, this is another true story from Uncle Phil.

Please comment below if you found it amusing, or heck post your own crazy drug story.

~ Uncle Phil

Your biggest win online so far?

your-biggest-win-online-so-far

Your biggest win online so far?

Man I’ve spent thousands of dollars trying to get this internet marketing thing to work over the last 2 years. No, let me rephrase that. I’ve spent thousands in the first year trying to get this internet marketing thing to work and?mostly invested (still had the dreaded “Shiny Object Syndrome” in some occasions, but not as much) and have actually started making money this?last year. Before that it was kind of a crapshoot. A lil commission here and there, but nothing to write home about. My biggest win online so far has been creating my first WSO on the Warrior Forum?and making sales without any affiliate support whatsoever. 17 of them in fact.
my first WSO Stats
I created a product that showed people how to free traffic by using the power of Facebook live and Facebook groups. Now I didn’t make tons of money. In fact, I only netted around $100 after paying the $20 it takes to list your WSO on the Warrior Forum as you’ll see above. Now I know some of you may be thinking:
  • It’s not that much money
  • You made less than $100, it’s actually $99…(give me a break, I rounded up $0.49 lol)
  • These conversions are terrible
  • WTF am I looking at Phil?
My answer to that is… So what? You make your first WSO and it’s there as an asset you can use in the future… However the crap you want! YOU?can do the same, I is no especial. Oops, sorry. Sometimes I resort to being all Mexican and shit 🙂 Don’t you think you can create a quick helpful WSO and sell it? Man I didn’t even set it up perfect and still made?some nice money son and I ain’t ashamed to offer to this method that works to people anew. via GIPHY Hee hee, we’re having fun now. The great thing is that you can pump out a WSO like this…often. In fact, I implore you to do so. (See the video below to see how to post your own WSO on the Warrior Forum if you’re interested)
  Click here if you’d rather read these instructions (bookmark this!)  

Why You May Be Struggling With Affiliate Marketing

  I’ve made more money with affiliate marketing. In fact, just last week I made 3 $97 sales from which I earned?50% commissions from. Pretty cool right? I think so too. But there’s something that you need to realize when you’re promoting offers left and right. You may notice that while you did well one month, the next month your income…was all over the place. Why? Because you’re creating competition for yourself by putting YOUR?customers on?someone else’s email list. Is it worth working your ass?off to potentially lose a customer for a $7, give or take a little? Trust me. That marketer that your promoting, is a way better than this than you.

**PAY ATTENTION TO THIS IF YOU WANT TO UP YO’ AFFILIATE MARKETING GAME PLAYA**

  [dropshadowbox align=”none” effect=”lifted-both” width=”auto” height=”” background_color=”#ffffff” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]Start promoting offers that bring you recurring or at least higher commissions that?make up for potentially losing customers and having to replenish.[/dropshadowbox]   It’s unlikely that if you’re still a lil’ wet behind the ears, that you’re advanced enough to keep all of your customers when you put them on a better marketer’s list UNLESSYou’ve built up enough trust with them.  

Let’s Wrap This Thing Up

  So to recap, I think you should be creating your own products. You’ll get 100% commissions (minus fees or if you payout affiliates) and have assets you can sell or re-purpose in the future. If you’re gonna be focusing more on the affiliate marketing side, make sure you’re getting some recurring income so you can sell a program once and get paid monthly as long as that person is in the program. OR… Start promoting higher-ticket offers, PERIOD. If you find the right audience that trusts you and you put the right offer in front of them you can make sales. Just remember to ask for it and you’ll be dancing when you get those commissions…trust me. via GIPHY Look, I want you to be in the best position to continue to get your next big win online. The answer lies in using a combination of product creation and long-term affiliate marketing strategies. You’ll learn exactly?how to do that with this step-by-step training from a 7-figure marketer, pick that up and follow the steps if you’re ready for that. If you’re still just struggling to create products, I suggest you start becoming a perceived expert in a niche where there are hungry buyers. If this sounds like you, simply pick up my Zero To Hero In 30 Days below. Thank you for your time. -Phil P.S. I’d love to hear what your biggest win is below, feel free to comment and let me know.

I Dreamed I Was Dying…

I dreamed I was dying blog post

I Dreamed I Was Dying…

Good morning.

(This is from a journal/diary entry earlier this morning, I’ve proofread it to not annoy you lol) I had some crazy dreams last night from what I remember.

I told Gloria (my sister)?some of it…well all I could remember.

I was in a field with Elmo, Frank, Abe, Kiki (my brothers, my big sis & a friend) We were in a big truck cutting through these woods after a basketball game.

Go figure.

Creepy Shit

We got stuck and couldn’t get our truck out of these woods, it was almost as if the woods grew more trees and made us get stuck there.

We started walking and I noticed that there was a full-grown wolf following us from afar… and then he howled.

Then I saw 2 wolves 2 to the right of him and we all started running. Kiki (nickname for my sis) disappeared and in the dream I remember?telling the guys, “I’ll take this one to the right and you guys take that one to the left.”

I guess the 3rd wolf disappeared. I had one wolf lunge?at me and I grabbed it by it’s mouth and didn’t let it bite me. I put all of my weight on it but it was a strong mofo. I called for Abey (my bro) (I don’t know why I was fending for myself when there was 4 of us) and told him to come kick the shit out of the wolf.

Weird, as I held it down it now ?looked like a German Shepherd now, brown & black. Anyhow, Abe kicked the dog a few times and it yelped big time.

I noticed there was another animal creeping on us.

It was a fucking hyena.

A hyena!

Really, what fucking woods were we in?!

Anyhow, I saw it gaining on us and I had the presence of mind to pick up and throw the wounded wolf at the hyena. Pretty sure my brother had broken several of its ribs, he’s like 6’2 240 lbs. and veteran so I knew he’d done well. It IMMEDIATELY started eating the wolf. I could hear bones snapping, tissue tearing?and the wolf howling in pain.

Pretty gruesome, but it was either the wolf or us.

It was kind of fascinating in a way too.

Elmo & Frank (my other bro & friend)?were able to handle the other wolf and like I said, the 3rd wolf disappeared (or better yet turned into a fucking hyena). I’m not sure what to make of this dream, but I love being able to remember them.

Nasty But Amusing

OH! The kicker!

I remember that after this imbroglio, I was thinking we were scot-free from the woods of hell and then I felt some pain in my stomach, a burning sensation, kind of like when you put rubbing alcohol or a shit ton of Hydrogen Peroxide on a wound.

Apparently, I was bitten by one of the wolves.

Pretty bad too.

I saw blood GUSHING out of my stomach from a hole that was made by the bite.

It burned like a cut does, not terribly bad but enough for you to know that mofo is there and ain’t going anywhere. I told the guys about my “situation”, they looked in horror and we started running out of the woods and I remember feeling like something was coming out of my stomach.

It was my intestines.

Shit, this was like the movies… I plugged the gushing hole in my stomach with my finger, but the hole was bigger than my pointy finger so it was still dripping out the sides and I could feel my insides trying to come out.

I was going to die.

People?don’t usually survive when their intestines falling out I thought, I’d always heard that if you got a gunshot or a wound to the stomach, that you were French toast (hee hee).

Had to be true right?

I didn’t feel terrible. I just knew I was going to die.

It was a weird feeling.

But then I started to faintly realize I was dreaming.

I didn’t know for sure but I had a good idea that this was not the end. I awoke and felt my stomach to make sure there wasn’t a crater in it (aside from my belly button lol).

I got up and told my sister the story, but it’s weird how stuff comes back to you when you write it down versus just saying what you dreamed.

I’d left some stuff out when I originally recited the story.

Does that ever happen to you?

You start to remember more as you write, shit at least I did, even as I proofread this blog post I’ve added a little snippet here and there.

I didn’t remember everything as I told my sister, but writing brought it out.

So odd, but I guess not really.

That’s why we all need to fucking write.

You need to challenge your mind into recalling shit that you know, but think you’ve forgotten.

You may not remember everything.

You may not remember it at all every time, but your mind needs to be challenged.

Don’t just write it off (hehehe don’t pardon the pun).

Ok, that was a little dumb?but whatever, I do what I want.

My Take On All This

I guess I got 2 big things out of this story…
  1. You should abso-fucking-tutely write…ALOT.
  2. You’re going to die, start working on them fucking goals?now. It won’t always just be some dream you can put in a blog post.
I hope this inspires you to do something about whatever the hell you keep putting off and replace with watching dancing dads on Maury or whatever the crap else it is 🙂

-Phillip Lopez