I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened

?You see, I think drugs have done some good things for us. I really do. And if you don’t believe drugs have done good things for us, do me a favor. Go home tonight. Take all your albums, all your tapes and all your CDs and burn them. ‘Cause you know what, the musicians that made all that great music that’s enhanced your lives throughout the years were rrreal fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few tunes.? ~ Bill Hicks

You know I?ve done my fair share of drugs in the past.

No needles, FUCK THAT.

But a fair share nonetheless.

I want to tell you about the first time I tried mushrooms and what I experienced. (WARNING: If you?re on drugs right now, DO NOT READ THIS as it may fuck up your high lol).

So let?s continue on shall we?

Date: New Year?s Eve 2009 I believe lol.

Place: My friend?s (we?ll just use Bob?s house to keep him anonymous).

I wanted to do just about anything to escape the fact that I?d just had a big breakup AND the fact that the person I was with was attending a New Years party with someone and I wasn?t.

Well at least not a person that I was gonna be kissing (or more) later on.

Now twas New Year?s Eve so naturally?

I wanted to party like I?ve never partied before and forget about ?feelings? and such.

Weed and alcohol WAS NOT gonna cut it.

So my buddy got some shrooms and my roommate (we?ll call him Marley, he he he Bob & Marley) my buddy Bob and this other dude that looked like Jesus Christ (I shitteth thee notteth) all ate some shrooms.

I ate about a gram I think it was.

Boy?I didn?t know what I was in for.

“Dear God…this parachute is a knapsack!”

It started off fucking awesome. Uncle Phil here was tripping? BALLS.

If you?ve never done shrooms before let me tell you this:

YOU WILL SEE SHIT THAT IS NOT REALLY HAPPENING.

Example:

I was absolutely enthralled by this thing called a television.

Also, I remember the song ?No Quarter? being played in the background (that was real), the Tool rendition (which fucking rocks BTW).

AND I remember seeing a Pink Floyd CD sitting on a lil’ table next to me.

This is how crazy this shit skewed my grasp on reality.

Somehow I combined all three of these things and I saw an infomercial on TV where someone was selling me a Pink Floyd CD series where they were playing Zepellin songs.

I was like ?But this ain?t a Floyd song?? and was confused as fuck.

We?ll fast forward to a little later, I?m getting into a little bit of paranoid mode (in other words, the ?I?m tripping so hard it?s becoming scary” mode).

I go to my friend (we?ll call her Janet) who tries to bring me down.

She brings an hour glass, turns it over and then someone starts drumming on the coffee table while I sit on the sofa.

To me this was totally amaze-balls and ol? Uncle Phil here starts feeling great again?

And then it happened.

The Jesus guy started it

So the Jesus Christ guy is apparently trippin? balls too (no surprise), except he had the novel idea of digging through the trash.

Well, this numb nuts came across a bottle and cut his hand.

So here?s what trippin? balls Phil sees:

A dude that looks like Jesus Christ with a cut hand (the palm of it BTW).

So of course I?m thinking of some crazy Stigmata creepy shit.

And then…that?s when the walls started melting.

Everyone turned into a demon, better yet a person with demonic eyes and they were all ?out to get me? in some way.

Scary as fuck holmes.

Coming Down

I don?t know how long this went on, but thank goodness for my friend Janet who gave me milk (I guess that?s supposed to help?it kinda did) and calmed me down.

Well, my buddy Bob?s wife (we?ll call her LaFawnduh bahaha) took me to the room and helped me calm down more and helped me wash my face.

I Tried Shrooms And This Happened - Lawfawnduh

And here?s where it got worse.

I get kicked out of the party

I was so grateful that LaFawnduh was helping me.

She had an aura (not kidding) around her like a fucking angel.

And?I tried to kiss her in my drugged up stupor.

She was very nice about it because she knew I was tripping? nuts, but my buddy Bob found out and we basically got kicked out (My buddy Marley and I that is, he was NOT pleased to be kicked out).

So?

While I think that drugs have brought us some good things (music and other talents wise)…

They have also made people do some really stupid shit that they wouldn?t normally do. 

TL/DR Version:

8 years ago I did shrooms for the first time after a bad breakup, had a bad trip, calmed down but tried to kiss my buddy?s wife in my drugged up stupor and got kicked out of a New Year?s Eve party.

Oy?

Moral of the story

I?m not gonna sit here and tell you not to do drugs.

You?re probably gonna do them anyways and me telling you not to ain?t gonna do dick.

So here?s my advice on this:

Don?t do anything with needles. You can get a life-long virus or something worse from a bad needle or leave track marks that will fuck up your chance of getting a job.

If you?re gonna do anything in excess, just do pot.

It?s the lesser of the evils.

And…

When experimenting with drugs that make you hallucinate?

Be in a good state of mind, don?t be going through crazy shit like I was?you may unleash some demons that you don’t wanna meet.

Also, make sure that you?re with friends that will take care of you if you have a bad trip. Nothing worse than someone trying to fuck up your high or worse?

Trying to fuck with you while you?re high. Those are not good friends, or even friends at all really.

Well, this is another true story from Uncle Phil.

Please comment below if you found it amusing, or heck post your own crazy drug story.

~ Uncle Phil

Phillip Lopez: The Boy Who Lived

Phillip Lopez: The Boy Who Lived

Phillip Lopez: The Boy Who Lived

All I remember is waking up in the hospital…

I had these suction cup thingies near my nips hee hee.

The T.V. was on. There was another little boy in the bed hospital bed next to me.

We acknowledged each other and started watching cartoons together and laughing.

Funny how you can feel like any other kid is your new best friend when you’re a child.

I was confused as to why I was there, but then…I really couldn’t give two shits when they brought ice cream into the room.

The details are fuzzy as this was roughly 26 years ago.

My brothers and sisters filled in the missing gaps when they came back into the room when I was awake and coherent. Apparently, I’d been hit by a van. I didn’t remember shit since I was knocked out cold.

Hee hee, my siblings swear that I flew 20 feet or some shit like that.

God I hope that’s true. Pretty awesome.

You see, we lived near a high school, 2nd to last house from the main road that leads to North Side High School. This dude rounded the corner as my Grandma was walking us to school and I was lagging behind lost in my 8-year old boy thoughts.

I don’t know who told me or insinuated this…

But my belief is that the man who hit me with the van was a little distracted by the High School girls going to school.

And THAT’S what led to me doing my best Superman impression for a very short while followed by an involuntary “planking” into the cement.

I even remember the dude visiting me and saying he was gonna pay for any bills and whatnot.

BULLSHIT.

That dude disappeared faster than a hippie during the draft back in 69′ (I had to look that up to be honest hee hee).

So here was the damage:

  • Chipped tooth
  • Black eye
  • Scar tissue on my lip for life
  • 1 Night at McCools, oops I mean 1 night in the hospital

However…

No broken bones.

No death.

Just a really f**king cool story to tell every other 8-year old when I got back to school and the scars to boot.

Phillip Lopez: The Boy Who Really Lived bahahahahaha

#SuckItHarryPotter

Moral of the story

Be grateful guys.

Not everyone escapes death, paralysis etc.

I’m grateful for every day on this Earth, even if I get a little pissy at times lol.

Stop complaining about the trivial shit my friend. If you can walk, talk, heck f**king breathe normally…

YOU HAVE AN ADVANTAGE.

Less complaining, more do-something-about-it.

That is all.

Please like, comment &  share this if you found it amusing an any way.

~ Uncle Phil

Affiliate Marketing: 10 Ways To Make More Commissions

Affiliate Marketing: 10 Ways To Make More Commissions

(Ahem), B-Flat Maestro):

1. Create a bonus page so people can see that you have more to offer than the affiliate that just sends people directly to the offer.

2. Create a squeeze page with the EXACT same headline as the offer you’re promoting and have it redirect to the offer after they sign up. Then you can send them a follow up/broadcast series of emails pitching the offer in every email by giving them a f**ing reason to buy 🙂

Ever heard that saying “Breeding familiarizes contempt”?

(Or something like that hee hee)

Well it’s true, the more people see your mug, hear your voice and just see that you know what the f**k you’re talking about…the more they trust, know & like you…like, know & trust you…bahaha just kitten it’s know, like & trust you!

3. ACTUALLY look through the stinkin’ product you’re promoting. NU-EVER blind promote “lest ye be cast back to internet marketing hell from whence ye came”. I’m not even sure if I wrote that right bahaha

4. Promote something that’s higher-quality (and a higher price) than the $7 “Shit Tornado Toilet YouTube Ranking Profits” that everyone else and their llama is promoting.

Most things are not really any kind of “new untapped traffic source with laser beams shooting out of it’s arse”. Stay away from products with bullshit copy like this, trust me Daniel-San.

5. Track your affiliate links. For me it’s easier to do this on Warrior Plus (I need to investigate how to do this with Jv Zoo to be honest). No sense in pissing in the internet marketing wind eh?

6. If you use PLR in your promotions, rebrand it and make it look cool. Never underestimate the power of a great eCover, logo, whatever the f**k.

I don’t know how many craft beers I’ve paid more for because they had a cool logo, cap OR they use wax to seal it up (why do you fall for this Phil? Ohh….you’re a douche-y alcoholic an you like pretty pictures, now I remember).

7. Go with a tried and true vendor that usually delivers.

My recommendation is pretty much anything from Kam Fatz, Mark Hess, Andy Brocklehurst a.k.a. “Les Honey Badger” or Kevin Fahey. Those are just off the top o’ me head, but feel free to leave a comment below if you have any to share.

8. Start promoting affiliate products that have RECURRING COMMISSIONS (ahem…have you heard about Society 11 yet? If not, check out what people are saying about it here). It may take a little more work to get the sale, but I know you ain’t no punk beeeatch when it comes to this internet marketing thang right?

Put some f**king effort into it and FOLLOW UP with people EVEN if you use Facebook private messaging to do this!

9. Start promoting tools (software and shit like that). Usually tools can make you a little more money AND they’re more helpful/implementable (is that a word?) than training in my experience.

10. Make sure that your bonuses are SUPER DUPER relevant to the product you?re promoting. If I?m looking at a product that teaches me about product creation…am I REALLY gonna go through some CPA marketing course?

Hells to the naw!

11. Overdeliver like you’ve kissed me before!

Oops, how’d that get there?

What I mean is over-f**king OVERDELIVER when possible.

It may be that ONE perk that you added that makes Joe Internets go:

“Holy crap balls, that Phil is a special kinda guy! What else does this guy have going on…”

You never know…

He may become a customer for life.

He may become a coaching client that funds that trip to France, England or (you name it).

Heck he may fund that operation you’ve been looking to get! (Me too)

Anyhoo, just a few things here on affiliate marketing I hope you’ve found them helpful!

~ Uncle Phil 

P.S. Got any to add? Feel free to do so below.

P.P.S. BTW, if all of this FREE INFORMATION isn’t enough…I strongly recommend you take a look at this Society 11. It may that ONE partnership, tool or tip in this group that helps turn your 2017 & beyond into the business of your dreams.

Society 11 Review: The New Warrior Forum

Society 11 Review: The New Warrior Forum?

 

I?ve got to admit to admit something?

I?m kinda of what some may call?a cheap f**k.

Not always though, I?ll admit that I still buy shiny stuff from time to time, but when it comes to any kind of recurring monthly fees I?m like ?Whoa hey, let?s tap dem brakes here!?

With that being said, I want to give you my lil? review of something paid, something borrowed and something blue I?m a part of called Society 11 (don’t click that link yet?you?re not ready).

So handsome?WTF is Society 11?

Well first of all, I?m glad you asked.

Secondly of all,  you noticed I?m doing something here sheesh, its about time.

Well this membership was created by Sir Andy ?The Honey Badger? Brocklehurst and ?Curt ?The Niffler? Crowley.

In short, both of these dudes have been into marketing and software development for some time, so you may say that they?re seasoned vets when it comes to this sh*t <img class=” />

I?ll show you a little screenshot that sums Society 11 up:

Society 11 Review

Now I?ll do something a little unconventional here and mention the cons here first before mentioning the pros.

Cons

Society 11 Review!

So the biggest thing that is a con is that the membership site can be a little wonky, maybe a little confusing to some at first.

I came across this and some of the members have too. Sometimes you may just have to ask a current member (like yours truly here) or Andy or Curt for a little hint on how to access something here and there. The great thing is that they’re usually very accessible in the Facebook group/mastermind that comes along with this membership.

Drip feed

Some of the content in Society 11 is drip fed, so that may be seen as a con for someone that just wants to check out all the information right away. I think Andy & Curt do this to no overwhelm members, but either way, some may see this as a con.

You can?t promote if you?re not a member

So if you can?t read between the lines here lol, you CANNOT promote Society 11 unless you?re a member. This group is not about any kind of blind promotion, they want actual paying members referring people.

I mention this because I don?t think this will be a ?hey give me review access and I?ll promote” kinda deal, so this may not be for you if that?s your thang lol.

There?s not really much else to say about cons so let?s move on to the pros.

Pros

So my title in this post refers to Society 11 possibly being the new Warrior Forum.

I?m not saying it?ll be anywhere near as big or anything,  I’m just saying that Society 11 is what the Warrior Forum should be like.

That would be a place for:

  • Connecting with other like-minded marketers
  • Sharing marketing tips & tricks
  • Partnering up in some way
  • Making friends

So I?d say that the biggest pro about this is the community.

The next big pro is the cool stuff you get access to as a member.

Saas tools, training, and the hits just keep on coming

Now, this is cool, watch my video above for a more in-depth look at what some of the tools are in the member?s area.

Here?s a little screenshot of the Saas tools (remember I said the membership area is a little funky lol):

Society 11 Review

What I really love about this is that you?re using Saas tools from the membership site and only really need to have 1 plugin (WP Inserts) on your site so it isn?t bogged down from having 30,000 plugins that do 1 thing here and there.

I think that?s awesome because I?ve had a plugin crash my site before and that SUCKED. I?m not super techie anyways so it?s easy to just upload 1 plugin and run the Saas tools from Society 11’s (hmm that looks weird) membership area.

Training, Complete Products & Member shares

If you look under the tabs in the member?s area you?ll see that there is training on how to SSL your site, a couple of pretty kick-ass webinars, some complete products you can sell (this is drip fed info) and even something called ?Member Shares? which is more products Society 11 members have added.

So far my product Lethal Affiliate Weapon (usually sells for $27 but is free for members) is presently the only one in this tab, but there?s all kind of access to other products in the mastermind/FB group in the files section and in some of the posts in the group.

And the more members that join?the more that products will be added for existing members to use.

Let?s move on to the last part that I really like as well.

BRUTALLY honest reviews, discounts & beta access

So this last part is something that can really help some of the newbies save money.

Even though there is a TON of training, tools, etc. that?s included with your Society 11 membership you also get some real, brutally honest reviews of new products coming out.

Let?s just call it what it is, there are some SHIT products out there that will make “Product Of The Day” or something comparable on whatever (insert other platform). You’ll also see some reviews from Andy & Curt where they tear apart some products that have NO BUSINESS being sold to anyone anywhere or are just generally waste of money.

With that being said, you also get product reviews of GOOD products (and bonuses at times) from Curt & Andy and other members weigh in their opinions too.

I?ve also seen that some of the members in Society 11 have come out with a product and given other members a YUUUUGE discount on it or some other perk that is specific to members only which ROCKS.

You may get a product half-priced or more at times (or just free).

As far as beta access goes, I haven?t seen this quite yet (any S11 member that reads this, please correct me if I?m wrong), I?m sure this is something that will be a part of the whole shebang as it gains more traction.

Recurring commissions

I don?t care who you are, recurring commissions are where it?s at holmes.

You see, it?s easy to just promote launch after launch and forget about getting commissions that come in whether you promote or not.

Let me tell you this: People?are very likely to stay in Society 11 once they?ve seen all that it has to offer, so just like I?m doing here?

PROMOTE THE CRAP OUT OF IT!

Seriously, I can?t tell you how cool it is to not need clicks to make sales (well after the first initial click that is). If you can find the right angle to market Society 11 you can have commissions coming in every month because most people are NOT going to leave.

Conclusion

So I?ve told you what Society 11 is all about.

I?ve mentioned that this is what the Warrior Forum should be like because now it?s kinda?well, shite. Lord knows I don?t want this to be a Wealthy Affiliate type of post where they?re like:

?Instant Cash Unicorn Tornado Tsunami Profits Explosion is an ok product, I give it 3.5 out of 5 stars?but let me tell you about Wealthy Affiliate which is a 5 out of 5 stars!?

Get da f**k out of here with that sh*t lol.

I?ve given you some cons & pros on having a membership and hopefully…you drink the Kool-Aid and become one of us.

Now before I depart (if you haven?t noticed already), I want to remind you that the price of a Society 11 membership is currently $27/mo. However, that price will be going up to $37, then $67, then maybe $97…I?m not sure if it will go above that. 

So, if you?d like to get in and have your membership price be locked in before the price goes up to $37/mo, I advise you to click on the one of the many links here that point towards Society 11 <—–(Like THAT one).

Thank you for reading my Society 11 review, I hope you?ve gotten a little chuckle out of it if nothing else. Leave me a comment below if you have any questions, concerns, suggestions, all that Utah Jazz <img class=” />

~ Uncle Phil

Carrie Phil

Affiliate Video Power Pack Review ? An Over The Shoulder Look

Affiliate Video Power Pack Review

Get ready for another boring ass pitch. 

Bahaha! Just kitten.

Look:

Sometimes I get access to some really cool stuff…go me.

Well today I’m doing my lil’ Affiliate Video Power Pack Review (just imagine a robot voice while reading that lil’ SEO-driven drivel there hee hee).

Watch the video above to get more in-depth look at the product, I’ll just tell you some of the main things below with words & stuff 🙂

What The Heck Is Affiliate Video Power Pack?

 

So first things first, Affiliate Video Power Pack is a video marketing product that will help you make affiliate sales by promoting some hot offers in Click Bank. This is something that’s set up so you can add some review videos to YouTube.

That’s what it is in a nutshell.

What Do I Get With This Offer?

Affiliate Video Power Pack Review

So that’s a lil’ ol’ screenshot of what the download page looks like.

Here’s what you get with the front end version of Affiliate Video Power Pack:

  • Product Overview: A short PDF showing you what you need and stuff, very basic stuff
  • Review videos 1-10: 10 High-quality review videos
  • Bonus 1: Some training on how to make your videos unique (since there are quite a bit of people that won’t change a thing)
  • Bonus 2: YouTube video ranking training from Adam Payne

What The Heck Will I Be Promoting?

Now these are review videos for some Click Bank niches that are already selling pretty damn well.

Here are the 10 Click Bank products that you can target with the videos in Affiliate Video Power Pack:

  1. The Fat Loss Factor
  2. Magnetic Messaging
  3. Make Women Want You
  4. Old School New Body
  5. Tao Of Badass
  6. Ted’s Woodworking
  7. Text Your Ex Back
  8. The Venus Factor
  9. What Men Secretly Want
  10. Xtreme Fat Loss Diet

Why Should I Care About This At ALL?

So Video Affiliate Power Pack is a lil’ product that claims that it can help you make some commissions from Click Bank with a few well-made review videos. 

I’m don’t know if you’ll make a killing with this product to be completely honest. Anything that promises overnight riches or that claims that you can become rich without putting some work into it is full of shit really. 

However, the reason I like this offer is because I think that you get a lot of bang…for just $5 with this product, but to REALLY get an advantage with this…

I recommend that you get the first OTO called Affiliate Video Power Pack Gold.

Why?

No offense…but it’s because I KNOW that most people will buy the $5 front end version and NEVER do a damned thing with it because there is a little work involved (you have to look through the YouTube video ranking training).

OR…

They’ll buy it, upload 1-2 videos and ask why the commissions aren’t raking in.

Most people WON’T even take advantage of the really good YouTube training in this product (I recommend you buy this product JUST for the YouTube training in Bonus 2 from Adam Payne if you do nothing else with this at all). 

The bottom line is…

Most people are LAZY and I get that. So if you’d like to really take advantage of this deal I recommend getting the front end offer and the first OTO (upsell). Check out the picture below to see what that download page looks like:

Affiliate Video Power Pack Review

As you can see, there’s intro/outro slides & videos that you can immediately use on these offers and on any offers really. 

I really like some of the video calls to action (CTAs) that are included with this upgrade. 

PLUS, they’ve done the keyword research for you.

They also show you how to use the YouTube editor (I know this is pretty easy to do, but not everyone knows how to use this). 

Now in bonus 1, you do get some simple software that helps you with copying & pasting the title & body that will go into your YouTube post. It’s not gonna do anything crazy for you, it’s just something that’ll save you just a wee bit o’ time when uploading your vids.

But it’s ok.

Now Bonus 2 is pretty darn cool because it gives you some training on Canva which is a really cool free graphics creating tool that I’ve used in the past for my YouTube channel. It’s a great alternative to paid stuff, my favorite.

Your own review site

There is one more upsell called Affiliate Review Megapack, which is a full review site for these videos. 

I’ve gotta be honest here, I’m not sure how this will work for you because it basically is a review site with all 10 review videos, lead capture pages, etc. You just have to go in there and rewrite the blog posts (or outsource this) so you can SEO yo’ shit. 

However, I’m not sure how effective having all 10 Click Bank Review products in all of these different niches would be (although there’s more than one review video on how to pick up women/relationships). 

I say use the review videos/capture pages that are relevant to what you want to do with your site. 

There are email follow ups and lead capture pages included with this package so I do think that’s cool and can help. 

Conclusion

So I think Affiliate Video Power Pack is pretty much a steal for $5 because I think you could make your money back easily IF you actually load the videos up and go balls to the wall with it.

However, the real value will be in picking up the first OTO for this because it has the intros/outros that will help make these videos (and other YouTube videos) unique, keywords to target AND good graphics training which will help you (a good custom thumbnail & slides go a long way).

I hope my lil Affiliate Video Power Pack review has gave you a better idea of whether this is for you or not, thanks for reading this post…hopefully you love this post as much as my cat does 🙂

Make sure and click that big ol’ button below if you wanna check this offer out.

Affiliate Video Power Pack Review

~ Phillip Lopez

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